My One Fear

They say failure is part of the process.

You learn from your mistakes.

You improve over time.

Practice makes perfect;

That is the adage, right?

Think about how scary that is.

I am not afraid of failure.

Never have been.

Because I believed in the process.

However, for it to be a process

There must be some progress.

So what happens when there isn't?

I am not afraid of failure.

I have failed many times before.

But how many more times will there be?

I would rather struggle with the mountain

Through hardship and strife

Than find myself on a plateau.

If practice makes perfect, 

Then the day it yields no more increase

Surely, it means you have arrived.

Thus, if that day comes before you hoped

Then it quietly signals

'Your perfect is nothing of note.'

That is what scares me the most.

The thought of just how imperfect

My perfect can be. 

I am not afraid of failure

I will fall if I must.

But mediocrity-

Mediocrity.

- terrifies me. 

Perspective II

There were rivulets of sweat running down his forehead now.
Gbenga was staring down at Ndidi under him; careful about how much weight he rested on her small frame.

He leaned down to kiss her open mouth and nibble softly on her lower lip. She threw her head back as he plunged his tool hard into her again, her breath coming in fast shallow gasps. He felt her nails digging into his skin and he smiled, she was simply urging him on. And so he obliged, pulling back and thrusting deep into her; again and again.

Faster now, each thrust deeper and harder than the last. She was screaming, faintly. With swift precise movements, he hit all the vital spots he could, drowning in the ecstasy of the moment and in her bodily fluids.

He saw her eyes roll back as she began to quiver. A guttural sound escaped her throat and she stopped and settled. He took in the view for a second… before withdrawing his tool from inside her, letting her liquid essence drip off of it.

Satisfied, he grabbed his shirt off a discarded pillow and wiped the blood off his knife before holstering it. He took one last look at Ndidi’s beautiful bloodied body, smile spread slowly across his lips as he admired his handiwork. Death was indeed very artful at times, he thought to himself.

Then he headed out, hurrying home to his wife.

Another Night

Tick

With every second

In every minute

The silence loudens

The darkness deepens

Tock

With every breath

And each heartbeat

The haunting grows

And the shadows creep

Broken

I lay

Both body and mind

With nowhere to run

No solace to hide

Clocks

Stare down at me

And echo my shame

Their jeers and their taunts

Lodging deep in my brain

Won't 

Let them win

And tear me apart

Never again

I say to my heart

Stop

Trying to fight!

They scream right at me

Your demons have won

Just cave and let be

Shit. 

I am weak

And backed to the wall

My strength is all gone

I'm about to fall

Fuck. 

I spring up

And blink at the lights

Having barely made it through 

Another such night

Tick tock

These broken clocks

Won't stop

Shit. Fuck. 

Ignorance Is Bliss

I have tried and failed
And failed again
I have flown and fallen
And have felt the shame
I have loved and lost
And I understand the pain

The pain that comes
From knowing and having
Only to lose what you held
Sometimes I tell myself
I would have preferred
Never to have known at all

A Quickie (Part III)

....

Chris hoisted Jenna out of the shower leaving the water running. He threw her down on the bed and swooped down atop her, the heat of desire radiating from his core. She loved it when his inner animal came out but it was wilder today than she had ever seen. She lay back on the soaked sheets and let his eyes drink in her nakedness; from her long slender neck to the gentle curves of her hips and thighs. He descended slowly, picking a spot on her neck just below her jawline for his lips and tongue. Her hands met at the nape of his neck and she drew his face into her. His lips and tongue working furiously to rob her of her sanity. She moaned and squirmed, running her nails down his back. He sunk lower on her chest, his lips grazing her skin gingerly during his descent. He kissed her breasts ever so gently and wrapped a hard nipple in his mouth, suckling it. Then she felt the cold of his teeth press against it and her skin erupted in goosebumps. Her thigh quivered as he bit. Painful, but pleasurable. He let go of her tit and the tease in him smiled at her. Slowly, he placed his throbbing member at the gates of her paradise. On a regular day, Jenna would have appreciated the playfulness but tonight, the aching in her left no time for such. Closing her limbs around him, she grabbed his firm toned bum and...

...She pulled him in.

Both their heads flew back. Jenna exhaled sharply as Chris filled her up snugly, her walls expanding to encompass his mass. At that moment she lost all reserve. She did not want to make love. She did not want just sex.  She wanted her savage needs to be met. She wanted to be ravaged. "Fuck me!". She surprised herself by shouting but as soon as the words left her mouth she agreed with herself. She clawed at his shoulders. "Fuck me Chris". Her words must have had an effect because suddenly, the devil entered his eyes and he poised himself over her. He supported all his weight on his bulky arms and he began to pump. 

Pump...

Pump...

Pump...

Like a piston.

Her eyes and mouth dropped open as Chris shifted into a gear she had never been blessed to see before. She let out silent screams and reached above her head. Her arms flailed as she reached for something. Anything. The pillows. The sheets. He lifted her legs and placed them on his shoulders. He suddenly felt bigger. And she was loving it. Her brain was liquefied and could form no discernible thought. Sweat dripped off Chris's brow as he worked deep into her. He placed his hand on her lower belly and stretched his thumb down between her thighs, placing it against her swollen clit. And he began to rub circles around it as he pounded. Her thighs convulsed wildly as she erupted, squirting  a jet of juices over his thighs. Don't stop, she thought. Don't stop, she wanted to say. But only moans emerged from her mouth. But somehow he heard her pleas.

He flipped her, stopping momentarily to admire her backside. He ran his palms up her thighs, still slick with her fluids. His palms tracing the topography of her buttocks. His fingers closed hard against her buns as he grabbed her ass.  One of his hands dipped below her cheeks towards the warmth of her womanhood. Slowly, he caressed the plump lips of her pussy, teasing with his fingers, spreading and stroking them. She shuddered as her skin erupted in goosebumps and this seemed to reawaken the bestial desires within him.

She felt his weight resting on her and spread her legs for him, inviting him into her. She closed her eyes and waited for the his organ to pert her lips and nestle itself deep in her. She mentally prepared herself for the impending pleasure and her vagina re-lubricated itself.

"Hurry up", she beckoned.

"Take me, she begged...

... as he sunk hard and deep into her.

* ... to be continued ... *

Matter of Time.

Close my eyes for the umpteenth time

It's still there. 

The voice from the corner of the darkness

The face that is hidden in the shadows

The glare of empty eye sockets

The stench of the dead and rotten

The deafening silence grows louder. 

Yet The murmurs become more audible. 

Reminding me of my deeds once done. 

Why do you haunt me beyond your time?

I throw my words at the wind. 

Then my heart starts to race

As the darkness begins to deepen

And my feet flee in directions uncertain 

And the further I run the clearer it seems

There is no escape, redemption,

No solace for a mind as damaged and torn. 

But the power of forgiveness 

Of self acceptance

Is the light at the end of the tunnel 

For there is no way out of a maze

If the maze is not yet acknowledged. 

I open my eyes and sink into myself 

How much longer shall I cope 

When will my strength give way 

For even the mightiest of rocks 

Can be eaten away by a drop of water

If it drops each day

it's only a matter of time. 

I don't like you

I don't like you 

I look stupid when I'm texting you

Cuz of how I blush at my phone

I feel stupid when I do my work

Cuz you're occupying my thoughts

I sound stupid

When I can't tell you exactly how I feel

I don't like you 

I smell weird when I'm coming to see you

Don't think all this cologne was needed

I look weird around you

Just cuz I want to make you laugh

I feel weird when I realize

Just how much you mean to me 

I don't like you 

You make me want to steal you

Put you in my pocket for me alone 

You make me lose track of time

Moments with you just fly by

You make me say and think things

That normally don't cross my mind

I don't like you 

I don't think you've changed me

I feel like this is the real me

I don't think labels should define us

Long as it's me and you I'm fine 

I don't think you're perfect but 

I've never seen such beautiful flaws

I don't like you 

Cuz I think you're so amazing 

Then I feel unworthy 

Cuz I think you're way up there

And I'm at the foot of the ladder

I don't like you 

Cuz...

Cuz I think I love you.