Dark Thoughts

I write this in my bed

Sleep has ignored me once again

I've tossed and turned and clutched at him

All has been in vain

So my mind, awake yet tired 

Journeys to the borders of reason 

Plaguing me with horrors and fears

Betraying me to my demons. Such treason 

I think no evil or wrong to the world in general 

But insecurities eat at my being

In the light of the sun I'm confident 

But alone in my mind I'm a cowardly thing

Second guesses and creeping doubts

Buried memories resurface at will

Poking at burns that still tinge 

Opening scabs that should have healed. 

Nothing is off limits. 

My consciousness is my own jail 

For the voices cannot be silenced 

Efforts to ignore yield no bail. 

But over time you come to terms

With the terms of their torment 

And the burns burn no more

You cease to lament 

Only because that which they aim at

The resolve they try to break

Is either already broken

Or has solidified and will not shake 

Despair and victory are similar

When one is weary of the war

All that is sought is rest

The peace known long before 

So whether sleep comes or not

However long my eyes aren't shut 

The sun shall surely rise again

And lift me out if this rut

And I shall be the me I know

The me that lives by day

Dreading the hours of the moon

When my shell shall fade away

And I will stand again

Before the voices of the night

And survive the strain and pain

Until Apollo returns the light

This is where you laugh and see

Surely I've made no mark

All I've said is how I fare

When the sky is dark

But look between the words 

Locate the text's heart and soul

And look into yours if you see

The snow beyond the coal

I will not know. Might just be me

That has the dark intone

But if you do then bear in mind

You are not alone. 

Smile when you can

Bear caution to the air 

Live not like you have life 

But like death is near. 

Perspective.

Her thighs were beginning to quiver. The goosebumps spread down down her upper arms. She could feel his hands rubbing slowly over her lower stomach. Her head was thrown back and her mouth was open. She couldn't even make a sound. The feeling was ... Her brain couldn't process anything else. Her back was arched and her ties pointed. He certainly knew what he was doing down there. 

"Just a bit more" he kept saying. She could feel the wetness running down her thighs. Her skin shone, glazed by a layer of sweat.

 "Almost there", she called out, her voice a husky whisper. She could feel the bulge moving deep in her. Slowly. 

Then the head was at her opening and the sensation heightened. She grabbed hold of something. Anything. Her innards leaking fluid and tightening. 

"A bit more!", she proclaimed. Her legs wide open. The feeling sunk from her lower belly down to her womanhood and then ....

The cry. The sharp sweet cry of a newborn. She lapsed into the hospital bed as the midwife held on to the baby. Emotions flooded. Relief. Tiredness. Joy. 

"Let me hold him" she pleaded with the doctor, her ordeal finally over. 

Random

I don't care if it's pumps or Converses

Could be Red Lobster or Burger King

Born in Shanghai or New Mexico

Listen to Bobby Brown or Sting. 

I don't care if it's medicine or law

Could be shorts or a gown 

Sporty or more of a couch potato

As long as you know how to get down.

Can I see beneath your beautiful? 

Is there a brain under those braids 

Can you tickle my mind with conversation

Are your mind and your body mates?

Can you make silence comfortable?

Can you handle my weird and bad?

Can I just hug you for an hour?

Can you improve the day I've had?

They say a lady in the streets 

And a freak in the bed 

Could be a freak all the time

Long as you're right in the head. 

Long as you're a laugh and a half 

And a friend from the heart 

And you love like a mum 

Even when we're apart

If I can be trapped in a room with you

For months and days

Without murderous intent

Then you're in your way 

Into my life.