Matter of Time.

Close my eyes for the umpteenth time

It's still there. 

The voice from the corner of the darkness

The face that is hidden in the shadows

The glare of empty eye sockets

The stench of the dead and rotten

The deafening silence grows louder. 

Yet The murmurs become more audible. 

Reminding me of my deeds once done. 

Why do you haunt me beyond your time?

I throw my words at the wind. 

Then my heart starts to race

As the darkness begins to deepen

And my feet flee in directions uncertain 

And the further I run the clearer it seems

There is no escape, redemption,

No solace for a mind as damaged and torn. 

But the power of forgiveness 

Of self acceptance

Is the light at the end of the tunnel 

For there is no way out of a maze

If the maze is not yet acknowledged. 

I open my eyes and sink into myself 

How much longer shall I cope 

When will my strength give way 

For even the mightiest of rocks 

Can be eaten away by a drop of water

If it drops each day

it's only a matter of time. 

I don't like you

I don't like you 

I look stupid when I'm texting you

Cuz of how I blush at my phone

I feel stupid when I do my work

Cuz you're occupying my thoughts

I sound stupid

When I can't tell you exactly how I feel

I don't like you 

I smell weird when I'm coming to see you

Don't think all this cologne was needed

I look weird around you

Just cuz I want to make you laugh

I feel weird when I realize

Just how much you mean to me 

I don't like you 

You make me want to steal you

Put you in my pocket for me alone 

You make me lose track of time

Moments with you just fly by

You make me say and think things

That normally don't cross my mind

I don't like you 

I don't think you've changed me

I feel like this is the real me

I don't think labels should define us

Long as it's me and you I'm fine 

I don't think you're perfect but 

I've never seen such beautiful flaws

I don't like you 

Cuz I think you're so amazing 

Then I feel unworthy 

Cuz I think you're way up there

And I'm at the foot of the ladder

I don't like you 

Cuz...

Cuz I think I love you. 

Positivity

People always ask me how I do it. 

How my smile never fades.

How my laugh always rings true. 

How my proverbial skin got so tough. 

How nothing really gets me down. 

And I try to explain, 

Positivity is a choice. 

Nothing can get to you unless you let it.

Choose your battles wisely. 

Choose how you spend energy. 

Choose where you show emotion. 

Choose to see the silver lining. 

The good in goodbye. 

The gain after the pain. 

Sure, society matters. 

But what do you think of you?

He says, she says. 

Shouldn't mean a thing. 

Public opinion is like gum.  

Unwrap. Chew on it. Spit out. 

Take the flavor, dump the rest. 

Don't let it stick to your shoe. 

If you want to do it, do it. 

Shoulder your responsibilities. 

Face your consequences. 

And do it with all of you. 

You're one in 7 billion. 

Don't conform unnecessarily.  

Be your own definition. 

Oh and don't forget to smile. 

It's a habit. A lifestyle. 

Fake it till you make it. 

Dark Thoughts

I write this in my bed

Sleep has ignored me once again

I've tossed and turned and clutched at him

All has been in vain

So my mind, awake yet tired 

Journeys to the borders of reason 

Plaguing me with horrors and fears

Betraying me to my demons. Such treason 

I think no evil or wrong to the world in general 

But insecurities eat at my being

In the light of the sun I'm confident 

But alone in my mind I'm a cowardly thing

Second guesses and creeping doubts

Buried memories resurface at will

Poking at burns that still tinge 

Opening scabs that should have healed. 

Nothing is off limits. 

My consciousness is my own jail 

For the voices cannot be silenced 

Efforts to ignore yield no bail. 

But over time you come to terms

With the terms of their torment 

And the burns burn no more

You cease to lament 

Only because that which they aim at

The resolve they try to break

Is either already broken

Or has solidified and will not shake 

Despair and victory are similar

When one is weary of the war

All that is sought is rest

The peace known long before 

So whether sleep comes or not

However long my eyes aren't shut 

The sun shall surely rise again

And lift me out if this rut

And I shall be the me I know

The me that lives by day

Dreading the hours of the moon

When my shell shall fade away

And I will stand again

Before the voices of the night

And survive the strain and pain

Until Apollo returns the light

This is where you laugh and see

Surely I've made no mark

All I've said is how I fare

When the sky is dark

But look between the words 

Locate the text's heart and soul

And look into yours if you see

The snow beyond the coal

I will not know. Might just be me

That has the dark intone

But if you do then bear in mind

You are not alone. 

Smile when you can

Bear caution to the air 

Live not like you have life 

But like death is near. 

Perspective.

Her thighs were beginning to quiver. The goosebumps spread down down her upper arms. She could feel his hands rubbing slowly over her lower stomach. Her head was thrown back and her mouth was open. She couldn't even make a sound. The feeling was ... Her brain couldn't process anything else. Her back was arched and her ties pointed. He certainly knew what he was doing down there. 

"Just a bit more" he kept saying. She could feel the wetness running down her thighs. Her skin shone, glazed by a layer of sweat.

 "Almost there", she called out, her voice a husky whisper. She could feel the bulge moving deep in her. Slowly. 

Then the head was at her opening and the sensation heightened. She grabbed hold of something. Anything. Her innards leaking fluid and tightening. 

"A bit more!", she proclaimed. Her legs wide open. The feeling sunk from her lower belly down to her womanhood and then ....

The cry. The sharp sweet cry of a newborn. She lapsed into the hospital bed as the midwife held on to the baby. Emotions flooded. Relief. Tiredness. Joy. 

"Let me hold him" she pleaded with the doctor, her ordeal finally over. 

Random

I don't care if it's pumps or Converses

Could be Red Lobster or Burger King

Born in Shanghai or New Mexico

Listen to Bobby Brown or Sting. 

I don't care if it's medicine or law

Could be shorts or a gown 

Sporty or more of a couch potato

As long as you know how to get down.

Can I see beneath your beautiful? 

Is there a brain under those braids 

Can you tickle my mind with conversation

Are your mind and your body mates?

Can you make silence comfortable?

Can you handle my weird and bad?

Can I just hug you for an hour?

Can you improve the day I've had?

They say a lady in the streets 

And a freak in the bed 

Could be a freak all the time

Long as you're right in the head. 

Long as you're a laugh and a half 

And a friend from the heart 

And you love like a mum 

Even when we're apart

If I can be trapped in a room with you

For months and days

Without murderous intent

Then you're in your way 

Into my life. 

A Girl On Her Own

Today is hot but not outside
The heat within her skin does hide
Thoughts of pleasure fill each vein
It’s desired so much it drives her insane
A kiss, a touch, or be caressed
Her heart is aching and it is distressed
The gentle breeze crosses her face
It cools her down, but in the wrong place
A cup of water will not cool her flame
It’s refreshing but not the same
Her juices flow as she thirst for more
Then she walks and locks the door
The feel of her hands upon each breast
As chill bumps rush across her chest
Eyes closed shut while desires burn
For sweet release her heart does yearn
Skirt eased off and legs spread wide
To put out what’s melting her from the inside
Finger tips brush up each thigh
As her head tilts back she lets out a sigh
Now between her lips a finger slides
So warm and creamy now it glides
Such relief as satisfaction has began
As her minds drifts off onto thought of her man
Amazing pleasure runs up her arched spine
With lips spread wide and feet on the bed
She bites her lip and tilts her head
The fire builds up as a roaring blaze
Mind filled with pleasure she drifts into a daze
The pressure and circles on her swollen wet clit
Should put out this fire in just a bit
Hearts beating faster as the fire peaks
Juices running between her cheeks as more does leak
Melted completely as her body does shake
Convulsing, shivering, and uncontrollably does quake
Screams erupt as the fire burns out
Lip is bit hard so she can’t shout
Desire fulfilled as her body does rest
Other than the real thing, this is the best